FAQs


Do you recommend getting rid of the TV?

Download our FREE eBook "Flourish" for insight.

Is it ever right to embarrass your child?

Although 16% of parents report that they regularly embarrass their children, it destroys trust and has long-term negative effects on the child. The advice we give to managers is the same advice we give to parents—Praise in public, constructive feedback in private.

Which phrase should parents eliminate?

34% of parents say ‘Because I said so.’ Instead, EXPLAIN, ARTICULATE, and PROVIDE REASONS.

How much sleep should our children get?

Of course, parents are sleep deprived. Most of us are not getting enough sleep. But let’s start with the kids. Children are not getting enough sleep. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, children 1 to 2 years of age should sleep 11 to 14 hours, children 3 to 5 years of age should sleep 10 to 13 hours, children 6 to 12 years of age should sleep 9 to 12 hours, teenagers 13 to 18 years of age should sleep 8 to 10 hours. 92% of teens report rarely getting six hours of sleep during week nights.

How do we set limits on video games?

Each child is different in terms of how they receive parameters and boundaries. Some kids may need to revisit the conversation several times. We encourage parents to allow their kids to air their grievances. Healthy families allow disagreement. For other kids, they hunger for consistency. The bottom line is limits on video games is KEY. Some parents limit their kids to only weekends. If kids are used to hours and hours each night, then establishing a half-hour use per day is a good start. Allowing the kid to accrue hours toward Saturday is allowable and teaches good time management skills.

Do you have any other recommendations on screens?

  • Absolutely. Teach children “digital veggies” versus “digital sugars.” Digital veggies are video calling a grandparent, using OSMO as a part of the IPad, and writing stories on the computer. Digital sugars are video games and most screen time activities.
  • Create Screen Free Zones in the house. Bedrooms are screen free zones. Removes TV’s out of all bedrooms. Turn TV’s off during dinner. There are three places that should be phone free: Bedrooms, Dinner tables, and Car Rides.
  • Use Common Sense Media and Dove Reviews for all TV shows and movie reviews.
  • Parenting Doctors recommends raising kids without TV and commercials. We recommend limited movies and sports; companies are purchasing real estate in your child’s brain (Thus, push mute during commercials).
  • Regarding children’s internet activities, parents were “moderately” or “extremely” worried about their kids spending too much time online (43%), over-sharing personal details (38%), accessing online pornography (36%), and being exposed to images or videos of violence (36%). Parenting Doctors says parents should be worried. But, the opposite of worrying is problem solving. Your solutions are limiting internet use, using net nanny or some other parental filter, and engaging regularly in conversations about privacy, IT protection, and security.

What is your number One recommendation for the use of reinforcement?

Use rewards and limits/penalties consistently. Consistency is the gold standard! Another element of reinforcement that is critical for parents to understand is to not reinforce activities that your children already enjoy. When this happens, it lowers children’s intrinsic motivation. For example, if Lisa already enjoys reading, don’t incorporate a reinforcement plan on “reading # of books” will result in a reward. Kids’ enjoyment goes down as they look to external incentives.

From standardized tests to overscheduled school days, how can I alleviate the pressure my kids feel about school?

This is a great question. The pressure is large on kids. Some parents may not be aware that they are imposing pressure. Kids put pressure on themselves that may lead to emotional flooding. Also, kids may experience pressure when their friends experience pressure. Here are five things parents can do to reduce pressure:

  1. Make school fun. Parents need to take pressure off outcomes and emphasize effort.
  2. Make learning fun. The goal of learning is to become a better human being.
  3. Emphasize unconditional love. There is nothing a child can do to increase or decrease your love. Your love is unconditional.
  4. Be proud of who your child is. Say “I am so proud of who you are!” Say it not after achievements, but throughout the journey of life.

Do you recommend spanking?

This question might seem very old. This was debated in college classes 20 and 30 years ago. But, in a nationally representative sample of 2,200 parents, 23% of parents spank a few times a week or more and believe it is one of the most effective discipline strategies. The issue has always been the same for spanking. Can a parent spank without being angry. At the heart of issue here is the issue of anger. The movie Inside Out is a good movie for families because it shows how all emotions are important and work together. Anger is an important emotion. The issue is what we do when we get angry. Often, parents’ anger sends the message that they have lost control. One of the goals of parenting is to address all issues while maintaining control.

What is your most important recommendation when parenting behavior problems?

65% of parents set limits and stick to them a few times a week or more according to a National Parent Survey Report. This data suggests 35% have difficulty following through on a regular basis. Consistency is the key. Following through on limits spoken is critical.
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